"The Dynasty Report"
Well... one thing is for certain. June 24th will no doubt go in the books as the most important night of my career thus far. You see... in one night, several things happened. First and foremost... I once again proved, without a shadow of a doubt, that I am younger, smarter, and more talented than Jerry Wilson could ever HOPE to be. You see... Wilson scheduled this little "rookie battle royal"... kind of a showcase for the up and coming wrestlers of the HPW. And Wilson forced ME into this battle royal... even though I'm not a wrestler, I'm a manager! But knowing that I have more talent in my pinky toe than the other chumps combined, I climbed into the ring for action (and regardless of what anybody else says... the fact that I agreed to participate had NOTHING to do with the fact that the High Rollers forced me to ringside!). So I climbed into battle... and outlasted EIGHT other men! That's right... I WON the battle royal (of course, what did you expect?). The best young talent the HPW had to offer... and none of them could hold a candle to me. Of course, there were other bright spots to the battle royal... namely a newcomer by the name of "Outlaw" Jesse Houston, who, had it not been for the cheating of the Hollywood Swingers, would have split the prize winnings with me. I was so impressed with Houston, that following the battle royal, I immediately signed him to a managerial deal to join my stable. But anyway... once again... my path crossed that of Scotty Lovins and Chip Studly... who are now calling themselves the Hollywood Swingers. Now... they've been a thorn in my side for several months now... helping Wilson handcuff me to the ring ropes in May, and now battling me in this battle royal. The Swingers will get what's coming to them in due time. But after I won the battle royal, I decided that I wanted to further humilate Wilson. So I offered Wilson a bit of a "challenge". I told him that he could pick ANYONE in attendance, bring them into the ring, and let them arm wrestle me. But if I could beat his handpicked opponent, then I would gain control of the HPW for sixty days. Wilson agreed, but said that if my opponent beat me, then I would have to wear a diaper and bib for the remainder of the show. I agreed... afterall, I went through eight men, one more would be NOTHING! Wilson scanned the crowd... and picked Allen Dare, a DJ for the Columbus, Indiana radio station WRZQ. I agreed... after all, Dare looks like a stick with glasses, so he shouldn't prove to be much of a challenge. But you see... I underestimated my own fatigue. Looking back, I realized that I was so DOMINATING during the battle royal, that I expanded all my energy. I simply didn't have anything left. So Allen Dare, stick-boy himself, scored the upset of the year... and he beat me in the arm wrestling match. And once again, the Hollywood Swingers interfered in my business, and helped Wilson force me into a diaper. The mere act disgusts me... it nauseates me.. it... it. I simply cannot talk about it anymore. Jerry Wilson will suffer, and suffer dearly, for humiliating me. And I just for the enlightenment of the fans... I had better not hear ANY chants of "diaper" on any future HPW cards. Later fools...
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